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1.) Swamp Fox - 08/08/2013
Now accepting applications for the HuntingCountry Deer Contest Grand Poobah. The line starts at the front.
I will be drawing names and putting the teams together (Get your names in the hat by the afternoon of Aug 14) [B]and we need someone to take charge after that, especially keeping up with the scores. [/B]
You can see from the Sign-Up Thread in the Bowhunting Forum that the rules are pretty simple. This shouldn't be a big time-consumer for whoever seizes the reins of power.
Men, we need volunteers. I'm not going to sugar-coat our situation. We're outnumbered and surrounded. We're almost out of food and ammunition. The fog and ice will not permit resupply, and none of the nurses are very good-looking.
Now is the time for heroes. Years from now, when you bounce your grandbabies on your knee, you will be able to tell them, "Kiddo, I was at HuntingCountry when they needed me. Not farting around on FaceBook! When the going got tough, the tough got going! I hope you can grow up to be half the man I was."
Now, I realize a few of you are already grandfathers, and a few more of you don't have any knees left. Don't let that stop you. You signed up to do a job here when you could have stayed home with your woodworking tools, or gone to Cracker Barrel to meet your unhospitalized friends every day at four. Your comrades thank you for your bravery and loyalty...The entire forum thanks you! You not only are the leaders of today, but you will probably have to be the leaders of tomorrow and even after you're gone, based on what I've seen from kids today...
But I digress. Men, we are in desperate straits. If you are not up to the task, no one will think less of you, really, I don't think. Well, maybe a little. If you are men of action, though---men of honor--If you will take the bull by the horns and the rabbit by the nasty, big, pointy teeth, take one step forward toward victory and glory! No jostling left or right!
Who's with me?!!
Aihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will be drawing names and putting the teams together (Get your names in the hat by the afternoon of Aug 14) [B]and we need someone to take charge after that, especially keeping up with the scores. [/B]
You can see from the Sign-Up Thread in the Bowhunting Forum that the rules are pretty simple. This shouldn't be a big time-consumer for whoever seizes the reins of power.
Men, we need volunteers. I'm not going to sugar-coat our situation. We're outnumbered and surrounded. We're almost out of food and ammunition. The fog and ice will not permit resupply, and none of the nurses are very good-looking.
Now is the time for heroes. Years from now, when you bounce your grandbabies on your knee, you will be able to tell them, "Kiddo, I was at HuntingCountry when they needed me. Not farting around on FaceBook! When the going got tough, the tough got going! I hope you can grow up to be half the man I was."
Now, I realize a few of you are already grandfathers, and a few more of you don't have any knees left. Don't let that stop you. You signed up to do a job here when you could have stayed home with your woodworking tools, or gone to Cracker Barrel to meet your unhospitalized friends every day at four. Your comrades thank you for your bravery and loyalty...The entire forum thanks you! You not only are the leaders of today, but you will probably have to be the leaders of tomorrow and even after you're gone, based on what I've seen from kids today...
But I digress. Men, we are in desperate straits. If you are not up to the task, no one will think less of you, really, I don't think. Well, maybe a little. If you are men of action, though---men of honor--If you will take the bull by the horns and the rabbit by the nasty, big, pointy teeth, take one step forward toward victory and glory! No jostling left or right!
Who's with me?!!
Aihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2.) bluecat - 08/08/2013
3.) bluecat - 08/08/2013
I may knot no everything, but I do have a full figure. I'll do it.
[URL=http://s990.photobucket.com/user/mx482/media/poobah_zpsb7b62ebd.jpg.html]
[/URL]
[URL=http://s990.photobucket.com/user/mx482/media/poobah_zpsb7b62ebd.jpg.html]
[/URL]4.) Swamp Fox - 08/08/2013
Whoa! Not so fast there, soldier!
You first have to answer me these questions three:
(I'll get back to that in a minute...or someone can suggest their own questions...)
More importantly, you will have to wrestle OHBH who has also volunteered to "help"...Or meet at the bridge with broadswords...
Have your second make arrangements with his second...
You first have to answer me these questions three:
(I'll get back to that in a minute...or someone can suggest their own questions...)
More importantly, you will have to wrestle OHBH who has also volunteered to "help"...Or meet at the bridge with broadswords...
Have your second make arrangements with his second...
5.) bluecat - 08/08/2013
Will there be drug tests involved? My pee smells like Cap'n Crunch right now.
6.) Swamp Fox - 08/08/2013
No drug tests...We want to set ourselves apart from the run-of-the-mill contests out there...
7.) bluecat - 08/08/2013
I've heard you can mask the Cap'n Crunch by eating Fruity Pebbles.
8.) bluecat - 08/08/2013
I can work around no food or ammunition but ugly nurses?
9.) Swamp Fox - 08/08/2013
Now, I want to be clear...OHBH said he would "help" ...not run the whole shebang...Which is probably a relief to most of y'all...
The thing he has going for him is that he does have big boobs...
The thing he has going for him is that he does have big boobs...
10.) Swamp Fox - 08/08/2013
[QUOTE=bluecat;9169]I can work around no food or ammunition but ugly nurses?[/QUOTE]
I didn't say they were ugly, exactly.
There are no ugly women in foxholes.
I didn't say they were ugly, exactly.
There are no ugly women in foxholes.
11.) bluecat - 08/08/2013
He smells like those losers that wear Brut.
12.) bluecat - 08/08/2013
Ohio, the 56th state.
13.) DParker - 08/08/2013
Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?!!
OK, I know I'm gonna' regret this, but....this sounds like something that could be very easily handled with an extremely simple Excel spreadsheet of the sort I create a half-dozen times per week. I mean, it's just a matter of checking the "contest kill" thread everyday and adding new entries to the on-going score for each individual and team, taking bribes and eventually announcing the highest bidder...er, I mean...winner...right? So, if no one else takes one step forward (or everyone else takes one giant step backward).....
OK, I know I'm gonna' regret this, but....this sounds like something that could be very easily handled with an extremely simple Excel spreadsheet of the sort I create a half-dozen times per week. I mean, it's just a matter of checking the "contest kill" thread everyday and adding new entries to the on-going score for each individual and team, taking bribes and eventually announcing the highest bidder...er, I mean...winner...right? So, if no one else takes one step forward (or everyone else takes one giant step backward).....
14.) Swamp Fox - 08/08/2013
By George, I think he's got it!
Exactly as easy as that...
DP, I will put you in the "Maybe" column...
:wink
Exactly as easy as that...
DP, I will put you in the "Maybe" column...
:wink
15.) luv2bowhunt - 08/08/2013
I second and third the motion for DParker.
All in favor ............aye..............aye, aye's have it, motion passed. So be it.
:tc:
All in favor ............aye..............aye, aye's have it, motion passed. So be it.
:tc:
16.) Swamp Fox - 08/08/2013
He's run away...
17.) bluecat - 08/08/2013
18.) bluecat - 08/08/2013
I'll be paper.
19.) DParker - 08/08/2013
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;9179]He's run away...[/QUOTE]
Lunch called (and today is BBQ day....you do want someone with a proper sense of priorities for this job, don't you?)
And I'm going to have to see some sort of state-issued photo ID before counting Luv2's vote.
Lunch called (and today is BBQ day....you do want someone with a proper sense of priorities for this job, don't you?)
And I'm going to have to see some sort of state-issued photo ID before counting Luv2's vote.
20.) DParker - 08/08/2013
[QUOTE=bluecat;9180][/QUOTE]
Amateur.
[/QUOTE]Amateur.
21.) DParker - 08/08/2013
OK, Excel spreadsheet with automatic individual score computation and team score aggregation created and ready to go. 16 names entered so far with room for > 65,000 more. All we need now are teams and dead deer.
22.) Swamp Fox - 08/08/2013
Okay! All we need now for final approval of your application is a full-body shot....
Digital preferred, but a polaroid would be okay if you paperclip it ...Do not staple!
Otherwise, it's back to the Octagon for you with Blucat and OHBH...
Digital preferred, but a polaroid would be okay if you paperclip it ...Do not staple!
Otherwise, it's back to the Octagon for you with Blucat and OHBH...
23.) DParker - 08/08/2013
Oh, thanks for bringing up the painful memories of the last place I volunteered and was treated like a piece of meat. Looked on as just another pretty face instead of being appreciated for my abilities and contributions. I can still hear the cat-calls and feel the leering at my backside from those muttering under their breath, "Must be jelly, 'cuz jam don't shake like that." Oh, the soul-crushing, cheapening humiliation of it all.
:::: uncontrollable sobbing ::::
:::: uncontrollable sobbing ::::
24.) Swamp Fox - 08/08/2013
I'm running a tight ship here, Skippy...
25.) DParker - 08/08/2013
You sailors are all the same.
26.) Swamp Fox - 08/08/2013
Make sure your address is legible on your application because we need to send you your skipper's cap...
27.) DParker - 08/08/2013
I remember that. That was the episode where the Professor gives the Skipper his prostate exam.
28.) luv2bowhunt - 08/08/2013
29.) bluecat - 08/08/2013
I got a sawbuck that this whole thing implodes. Who's with me?
30.) bluecat - 08/08/2013
There should be extra points if there is a pic of you using the butt-out tool on your deer. Could be a tiebreaker.
31.) bluecat - 08/08/2013
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;9191]Okay! All we need now for final approval of your application is a full-body shot....
Digital preferred, but a polaroid would be okay if you paperclip it ...Do not staple!
Otherwise, it's back to the Octagon for you with Blucat and OHBH...[/QUOTE]
I bruise easily. Just sayin.
Digital preferred, but a polaroid would be okay if you paperclip it ...Do not staple!
Otherwise, it's back to the Octagon for you with Blucat and OHBH...[/QUOTE]
I bruise easily. Just sayin.
32.) bluecat - 08/08/2013
And I have a trick knee.
33.) bluecat - 08/08/2013
My lumbago acts up when the barometric pressure drops.
34.) bluecat - 08/08/2013
I want my mommy.
35.) Swamp Fox - 08/08/2013
Just be glad you didn't have to fight CrOoKEdeYe...
I seen him do some things...
I seen him do some things...
36.) luv2bowhunt - 08/08/2013
Yeah, he has a Ninja belt in Étouffée.
37.) Swamp Fox - 08/08/2013
Hmmm...now I'm hungry...:tap:
38.) Swamp Fox - 08/08/2013
Sure you don't want to leave it as E'tu fu...?
I mean, I got it...
I mean, I got it...
39.) DParker - 08/08/2013
[QUOTE=bluecat;9199]There should be extra points if there is a pic of you using the butt-out tool on your deer. Could be a tiebreaker.[/QUOTE]
Challenge accepted. From my fireplace stocking last Christmas.
Challenge accepted. From my fireplace stocking last Christmas.
40.) bluecat - 08/08/2013
Nothing says Christmas like a router.
Wow, you must have been proud. I can make out the fireplace in the picture.
Wow, you must have been proud. I can make out the fireplace in the picture.
41.) DParker - 08/08/2013
Of course I was proud. It's a Butt Out [I][B]2[/B][/I]! Take that, all you Butt Out 1 losers.
That was at my sister-in-law's house, which is why there's a Boston Terrier to the right.
That was at my sister-in-law's house, which is why there's a Boston Terrier to the right.
42.) Ohbuckhunter - 08/08/2013
Dparker to the rescue.
43.) Deerminator - 08/09/2013
:laugh::laugh::laugh:
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;9170]Now, I want to be clear...OHBH said he would "help" ...not run the whole shebang...Which is probably a relief to most of y'all...
The thing he has going for him is that he does have big boobs...[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;9170]Now, I want to be clear...OHBH said he would "help" ...not run the whole shebang...Which is probably a relief to most of y'all...
The thing he has going for him is that he does have big boobs...[/QUOTE]
44.) Swamp Fox - 08/09/2013
I'm putting OHBH in charge of writing scolding PMs to those whose entry pictures are not composed well:
Deer with their tongues hanging out; arrows sticking out of the deer; trash cans, old tires and stuff for sale on ebay in the background; hunters with their bellies popping out of their shirts, etc...
Deer with their tongues hanging out; arrows sticking out of the deer; trash cans, old tires and stuff for sale on ebay in the background; hunters with their bellies popping out of their shirts, etc...
45.) Swamp Fox - 08/09/2013
The classic "dead deer lying on the ground photographed from directly above like a sack of flour or like you're taking a picture of your shoes"-type picture should not receive any angry PMs, however. It's sometimes hard to take a good picture if you are hunting alone, and this seems to be the photo angle many hunters decide is best in those circumstances.
If you receive a PM from OHBH about such a picture, please report him immediately, as we do not want him abusing his power.
If you receive a PM from OHBH about such a picture, please report him immediately, as we do not want him abusing his power.
46.) luv2bowhunt - 08/09/2013
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;9218]scolding PMs to those whose entry pictures are not composed well: Deer with their tongues hanging out; arrows sticking out of the deer; trash cans, old tires and stuff for sale on ebay in the background; hunters with their bellies popping out of their shirts, etc...[/QUOTE]
It doesn't seem fair to me to discriminate against the hunters from the South.
....ba....da.....bump.:wave:
It doesn't seem fair to me to discriminate against the hunters from the South.
....ba....da.....bump.:wave:
47.) Swamp Fox - 08/09/2013
LOL...
Ahhh...What's six more months after a couple of hundred years?
I didn't say anything about pics of deer hanging by their necks because I didn't want to offend the Northerners.
Well, really, I did, but I'm trying to behave lately...
:-)
Ahhh...What's six more months after a couple of hundred years?
I didn't say anything about pics of deer hanging by their necks because I didn't want to offend the Northerners.
Well, really, I did, but I'm trying to behave lately...
:-)
48.) bluecat - 08/09/2013
Maybe you could put your deer up on some cinder blocks.
49.) billy b - 08/09/2013
And you live where & haven't killed a Pa. deer in how long?????????:cf::nk:
50.) Swamp Fox - 08/09/2013
[QUOTE=bluecat;9223]Maybe you could put your deer up on some cinder blocks.[/QUOTE]
:laugh:...
:laugh:...
51.) DParker - 08/09/2013
[QUOTE=bluecat;9223]Maybe you could put your deer up on some cinder blocks.[/QUOTE]
Then what will we use to hold up the 2x4s that the stereo system is on?
Then what will we use to hold up the 2x4s that the stereo system is on?
52.) Swamp Fox - 08/09/2013
Oh, c'mon DP...Use your head...Of course you use decorative slabs...They are much more attractive, and they save space...Believe me, I know. :wink
[url]http://veryvintagevegas.com/category/decorative-concrete-block-designs/[/url]
[url]http://veryvintagevegas.com/category/decorative-concrete-block-designs/[/url]
53.) DParker - 08/09/2013
[I]Patterned[/I] blocks? We're simple folk around here. None o' that pretentious big-city interior decorating snobbery for us. No Sir.
54.) Swamp Fox - 08/09/2013
Maybe I've been on the East Coast too long, then...
It does seem that you people in the interior are simpler...
:wink
It does seem that you people in the interior are simpler...
:wink
55.) DParker - 08/09/2013
The East Coast?! Hah!!! Don't try to trick [I]me[/I] with your geographical lies!!! Everyone knows the Carolinas are on the Gulf of Mexico.
56.) Swamp Fox - 08/09/2013
LOL...:tu:
57.) Swamp Fox - 08/09/2013
Wish I'd thought of that...:-)
58.) Swamp Fox - 08/09/2013
[QUOTE=DParker;9236]The East Coast?! Hah!!! Don't try to trick [I]me[/I] with your geographical lies!!! Everyone knows the Carolinas are on the Gulf of Mexico.[/QUOTE]
Close to Louisiana, along with Georgia!
Close to Louisiana, along with Georgia!