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1.) DParker - 09/20/2017
...usually more than one at a time. Over the course of my life I've had 13 dogs, just counting the ones I or my family kept long-term, and not counting the litters of pups we gave away. A few cats, too (also fish, rats and a Shetland pony). I lost one dog when she escaped from the backyard and ran in front of a car, but all the rest...save for the one we currently still have, lived full lives until old age and infirmity overtook them, and it became time to end their suffering. That's a lot of experience with that particular eventuality, and you'd [i]think[/i] that after a half century of of dealing with it...it would get a [i]little[/i] easier to handle when the time comes.

It doesn't.

2.) Swamp Fox - 09/20/2017
I don't know if it would be a good thing if it got easier.

I wish it did, though.
3.) bluecat - 09/20/2017
Wish it wasn't so.
4.) billy b - 09/20/2017
For me it's one of the hardest things I have ever done.
5.) Jon - 09/20/2017
No doubt, one of the hardest things a man has to do. Sorry brother, I'm betting that there was a GREAT dog and a best friend.
6.) DParker - 09/20/2017
Thanks all...and I apologize if this came across as a cheap plea for sympathy (though that's appreciated anyway), because what prompted me to share it was that I was truly struck by just how much harder I took this one than I have any other in the past. Yes, she was a great dog...intelligent, loyal, loving and very protective of our home and everyone in it. But so were several of my previous dogs, including the one we had to put down nearly 12 years ago. I was deeply attached to all of them. But for some reason, losing Mia (the pampered princess in the photo) was more of a punch in the gut than was losing any of the others, even though we've been preparing for it for well over a month now. Why? Well, I'm no Sigmund Fraud, and I didn"t even stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night, but I suspect it's one of the effects of "empty nest" syndrome. I'll just repeat what I already told someone in a PM:

[Quote]Thanks. She was a good old girl. I mainly posted because I found it interesting that not only was it not any easier than with previous pets (the last one being about 12 years ago), but I actually took it harder. I think a lot of it has to do with our kids being grown and on their own, and us subconsciously looking to our dogs to fill the emotional gap that creates in the home. I used to roll my eyes at older people who referred to their dogs as their "children"...and while we don't do that, I think I at least understand that a little better now.[/quote]

Then again, maybe I'm just becoming a big baby in my old age.
7.) bluecat - 09/20/2017
I'm going with the big baby theory.


It's just a difficult thing and I'm sorry you're going through it.
8.) JGB Ohio - 09/20/2017
Very sorry to hear. I've had many dogs too, I had one that hit me differently than all the others when we lost him I was tore up bad. I wouldn't wish that pain on my worst enemy. Sorry.
9.) Bob Peck - 09/20/2017
[QUOTE=DParker;51757]I'm no Sigmund Fraud, and I didn"t even stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night, but I suspect it's one of the effects of "empty nest"[/QUOTE]
For me age has brought an increasing realization of my mortality and everyone around me.

We are rarely ever the same exact person we were the year or decade before or after.

All animals are as much a part of our families as we want them to be. For us, in our household, all who have lived with us are family including the canines and sometimes especially the canines as they are truly unconditional and low-to-no drama.

As for the empty nest? It sucks. I thought it would be easy but it's not. The eldest is off to nursing school, the youngest is a freshman physics major @ Virginia Tech and the middle child graduates in the spring 2018 with a degree in physical therapy. A 5 bedroom house inhabited by my wife and I and a Pug is a lonely place right now. I am blessed and grateful hunting season is around the corner where I can sort this all out in a treestand. :laugh:
10.) DParker - 09/20/2017
[QUOTE=Bob Peck;51762]I am blessed and grateful hunting season is around the corner where I can sort this all out in a treestand. :laugh:[/QUOTE]

I thought about that too...but then decided that I hope 10 days is enough time for me to get a handle on my newfound estrogen-esque emotions, as blubbering like a little girl on stand probably isn't going to prove to be an enhancement to my ambush predator technique.
11.) Bob Peck - 09/20/2017
[QUOTE=DParker;51763]I hope 10 days is enough time for me to get a handle on my newfound estrogen-esque emotions, as blubbering like a little girl on stand probably isn't going to prove to be an enhancement to my ambush predator technique.[/QUOTE] I know what you're saying but there's nothing estrogen-esque or little girl about mourning a devastating loss. Just sayin.
12.) DParker - 09/20/2017
[QUOTE=Bob Peck;51764]I know what you're saying but there's nothing estrogen-esque or little girl about mourning a devastating loss. Just sayin.[/QUOTE]

Shhhhhhh! The Man Card Issuing Authority might be listening, and I'm only 2 demerits away from revocation.
13.) luv2bowhunt - 09/21/2017
Sorry to hear DP. I unfortunately know the pain you're going through. Lost my best buddy 8 years ago and still missing him. No other dog has meant as much to me as Jackson did.



You guys are doing the empty nest all wrong. You have to keep the kids and grandkids in the same area code. I've got 3 out of 4 living near me, one right down the street. Makes it much easier to take when you can see them whenever you want. Bribe them into staying near home, money, gifts, beer, whatever it takes.
14.) Swamp Fox - 09/21/2017
:-) ...

I was a wreck when I lost my last dog. The parts I can explain included difficulty passing the dog food aisle in the grocery store, and seeing her come around the corner of the house when I'd drive up, long after she'd gone.
15.) DParker - 09/21/2017
[QUOTE=luv2bowhunt;51768]Sorry to hear DP. I unfortunately know the pain you're going through. Lost my best buddy 8 years ago and still missing him. No other dog has meant as much to me as Jackson did.
[/quote]

Happy dog. Golden Retriever?

[Quote]You guys are doing the empty nest all wrong. You have to keep the kids and grandkids in the same area code. I've got 3 out of 4 living near me, one right down the street. Makes it much easier to take when you can see them whenever you want. Bribe them into staying near home, money, gifts, beer, whatever it takes.[/QUOTE]

Oh, both kids...and our granddaughter...still live in our area code. But it's still an hour-long drive (at interstate speeds) to see them. We do it all the time, but it's no substiite for them being in the house when you wake up in the morning and when you come home from work.
16.) luv2bowhunt - 09/21/2017
Yep, golden retriever.

I've gotten used to the empty nest, been 7 or 8 years since our baby left. Life is about phases I guess and we have to at some point accept the phase we're currently in, or live a life looking in the rearview mirror. My Dad used to do that, always saying that his high school years were his best.

Maybe they were, but I told him I refuse to live like that. I live life thinking today are the best days I've had and tomorrow will be better than today.

I'll keep thinking that until I'm down and out or stuck in the lobby of the nursing home, staring at the front door.
17.) bluecat - 09/21/2017
Our previous pet was a lab/great dane mix that weighed around 130 pounds. He was a sweetie and thought he was a lap dog. He slept at the side of the bed on my side. Whenever I got out of bed, I used the toe dipping technique in the dark so as to not step on him. For years after he passed I still felt around with my toe when sliding out of bed.
18.) Swamp Fox - 09/21/2017
[QUOTE]If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise.
- Unknown

Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.
- Unknown

Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies.
- Gene Hill

In dog years, I'm dead.
- Unknown

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.
- Aldous Huxley

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
- Robert Benchley

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
- Sue Murphy

I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
- August Strindberg

No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
- Fran Lebowitz

Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
- Anne Tyler

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
- Rita Rudner

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can.
That's almost $7.00 in dog money. - Joe Weinstein

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
- James Thurber

You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets. - Nora Ephron

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
- Ann Landers

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
- Robert A. Heinlein

In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.
- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan

Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one of the most fond memories!
- Dr. Tom Cat

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
- Ben Williams

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.
- Edward Abbey

Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
- Unknown

Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.
- Unknown

No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.
- Christopher Morley

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
- Josh Billings

Man is a dog's idea of what God should be.
- Holbrook Jackson

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andrew A. Rooney

He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.
- Unknown

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
- Mark Twain

Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane.
- Smiley Blanton

I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts.
- John Steinbeck[/QUOTE].....
19.) DParker - 09/21/2017
[QUOTE=bluecat;51784]Our previous pet was a lab/great dane mix that weighed around 130 pounds.[/QUOTE]

Holy moly. So the energy of a 4 year-old on crack, and the size of a small horse. He must have been a blast to play tug-of-war with.

[QUOTE=bluecat;51784]He was a sweetie and thought he was a lap dog. He slept at the side of the bed on my side. Whenever I got out of bed, I used the toe dipping technique in the dark so as to not step on him. For years after he passed I still felt around with my toe when sliding out of bed.[/QUOTE]

It's funny how deeply ingrained those habits become.
20.) Bob Peck - 09/21/2017
[QUOTE=luv2bowhunt;51779]I've gotten used to the empty nest, been 7 or 8 years since our baby left. Life is about phases I guess and we have to at some point accept the phase we're currently in, or live a life looking in the rearview mirror. My Dad used to do that, always saying that his high school years were his best.[/QUOTE]

My wife of 30 years gets frustrated I don't spend more time gnashing my teeth over stuff. I go quickly (too quickly for her) from analyzing a problem to possible solutions. I've never believed in using emotion as a tool to solve problems. Emotion always seems to get in the way of a solution or at best slows things down. Having said that from time-to-time I'm human (or at least try to appear that way) and emotion gets the best of me.

Sure the empty nest is phase but it's feels very different than any other phase I've lived through including the "I-almost-died." phase. For me, it's not a rear view mirror reminiscing on what was the "good 'ol days" and living in the past. That's a fruitless waste of time which as we know *always* marches onward whether we like it or not.

The empty nest is a large sink hole I've seen up ahead for miles and miles. I know it was coming. Like retirement (yet another phase) I know I needed to prepare for it but I still managed to drive my dang truck straight into it. I'm realizing this empty nest sink hole doesn't get filled back in right away until marriages are consummated and grandchildren are born which for us is some years off. Not distant but also not close.

The empty nest is like driving a Ferrari most of your married life and then ditching it for a riding lawn mower. I'm extremely grateful and blessed for something that moves faster than I can walk but mourning the loss of horsepower and comfort. Bitter sweet.

We're ecstatic we seem to have done a reasonable job as parents preparing our kids, comforted the values we worked hard to instill are anchored within them and relieved we dodged many of the unforeseen bullets that derail many kids from a good life. Overall we're quite pleased we've sent some good people out into the world to watch the 6 of their brothers and sisters they don't know and haven't met.

[QUOTE=luv2bowhunt;51779]... I told him I refuse to live like that. I live life thinking today are the best days I've had and tomorrow will be better than today. [/QUOTE] Currently, I live life by occupying my time with business travel all over the Americas and turning hunting areas into well manicured parks complete with meticulously OCD planned habitat. I do ridiculous stuff that only the deer and I would notice.

Now I've been asked to manage 1100 acres at the foot of the Appalachian Mountains for a rich guy living in CA who never intends to step foot on the property but wants a caretaker to develop a plan to improve the land for eventual resale. That should keep me busy for a while.

[QUOTE=luv2bowhunt;51779]I'll keep thinking that until I'm down and out or stuck in the lobby of the nursing home, staring at the front door.[/QUOTE] I'll keep prowling the woods until I have to don the blue Walmart vest and greet people "Welcome to Walmart" in order to put food on the table. Then again, maybe I'll just put on the vest when they stick me in the lobby of the nursing home.
21.) Swamp Fox - 09/21/2017
Some of you people creeping around here seem pretty damn old ...

LOL
22.) luv2bowhunt - 09/21/2017
So we're good then.................right? I think we're on the same page.

Yes it sucks to have our kids grow up and leave us. Yes it sucks that all the things about them that made you smile, things you didn't even realize you love about them, are happening somewhere else. It sucks that you're not as 'important' as you once were. Having 4 girls, that's the one that hit me the hardest. The day that they got someone else to do the 'Dad' things for them.

Someone else is checking the oil, someone else is giving them directions to Altoona, someone else is killing the spiders and looking at the hair dryer cord. It was the end of an era, and it came whether I liked it or not.

But...........this is the moment we've been preparing them for. You've done real good to this point and now you've launched them out into the world. Make the best of what this phase gives you.

I had to learn to be happy for them as they started their own adventures out into the world. I got over the restlessness in my soul, when I started to focus on their happiness and not my own. Lamenting on how it used to be is really about me and not about them. Took me awhile to figure that out.

I've got a co-worker who is always saying "you live your life through your kids". And although I haven't told him out loud, I'm always thinking "God I hope not".

If I had to live my life through the trials, mistakes, and sometimes stupid decisions these kids make, I'd be a complete nervous wreck.

I've got my own life to finish out and I'm going to live my life through my own adventures or misadventures. I've got more mountains to climb and more deer to miss.
23.) DParker - 09/21/2017
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;51803]Some you people creeping around here seem pretty damn old ...

LOL[/QUOTE]

I say the same thing to that guy in the mirror every morning.
24.) crookedeye - 09/21/2017
i had dogs my whole life too. whitey, english pointer, the dog was a street prowler at night and he wasnt much of a hunter, he had alot of street smarts..
25.) crookedeye - 09/22/2017
he would bring home a basketball, and packages of steaks, wraped up.. he must of got into the packing house about a mile away from the house..

he was a good dog..he lived life to the fullness