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1.) DParker - 11/02/2015
Last week I was telling the wife about how someone in Leonard, TX (a tiny rural town about 45 miles from where I live) reported sighting a mountain lion. While possible (the occasional far-ranging male does wander into this part of the state from elsewhere, but there are no breeding populations anywhere near here), there's about a 99.5% chance that it was a bobcat, large dog, etc...as such reports are incredibly common in these parts, and with extremely rare exception always turn out to be something more mundane.
Well, not to be outdone the PD of my little suburb just announced on their Facebook "scanner" page that they responded to a call reporting a "tiger" in someone's back yard...with the note, "No tiger has been located at this time, though a bobcat was found behind the home." The funniest part is that the address they gave is for a house in a tiny neighborhood that's right on the border of a fairly large area of land bordering the lake, and that's still undeveloped and teeming with local wildlife (rabbits, raccoons, 'possums, armadillos, the predators that eat them, et al), so it's not like such a sighting would be unusual.
The next time we get a 'possum in the backyard I think I'm going to call in a report of an escaped elephant.
Well, not to be outdone the PD of my little suburb just announced on their Facebook "scanner" page that they responded to a call reporting a "tiger" in someone's back yard...with the note, "No tiger has been located at this time, though a bobcat was found behind the home." The funniest part is that the address they gave is for a house in a tiny neighborhood that's right on the border of a fairly large area of land bordering the lake, and that's still undeveloped and teeming with local wildlife (rabbits, raccoons, 'possums, armadillos, the predators that eat them, et al), so it's not like such a sighting would be unusual.
The next time we get a 'possum in the backyard I think I'm going to call in a report of an escaped elephant.
2.) Swamp Fox - 11/02/2015
LOL...
This here makes the second tiger I know of...Maybe even funnier than the one about the tiger tied to the SUV roof...:-)
"[I]Bryant Police said on Sept. 8 they received a call that someone spotted a dead tiger on a service road near the town. The caller said she stopped to take pictures of the animal, but she was too scared to get near it.[/I]"
[url]http://www.wbrz.com/news/dead-tiger-report-leads-to-stuffed-animal/[/url]
This here makes the second tiger I know of...Maybe even funnier than the one about the tiger tied to the SUV roof...:-)
"[I]Bryant Police said on Sept. 8 they received a call that someone spotted a dead tiger on a service road near the town. The caller said she stopped to take pictures of the animal, but she was too scared to get near it.[/I]"
[url]http://www.wbrz.com/news/dead-tiger-report-leads-to-stuffed-animal/[/url]
3.) bluecat - 11/02/2015
[url]http://www.ketv.com/news/woman-sneaks-into-henry-doorly-zoo-is-bitten-by-tiger/36192512[/url]
Police said the woman was intoxicated and went into an unauthorized area around 7:20 a.m. to pet the animal, somehow getting past the fence and security before the zoo had opened.
Jacqueline Eide, 33, is in the hospital Sunday with a severe injury to her left hand.
She was transported to Creighton University Medical Center by a friend. The wounds are so bad that she might lose parts of her fingers.
Eide, according to a release from the Omaha Police Department, was aggressive toward staff and showed signs of intoxication.
She was cited for criminal trespass.
Eide was sentenced to prison time for her third DUI in 2011. She was arrested twice in Omaha this year and has criminal convictions, including drunk driving, graffiti, disturbing the peace, obstruction of justice and shoplifting.
Police said the woman was intoxicated and went into an unauthorized area around 7:20 a.m. to pet the animal, somehow getting past the fence and security before the zoo had opened.
Jacqueline Eide, 33, is in the hospital Sunday with a severe injury to her left hand.
She was transported to Creighton University Medical Center by a friend. The wounds are so bad that she might lose parts of her fingers.
Eide, according to a release from the Omaha Police Department, was aggressive toward staff and showed signs of intoxication.
She was cited for criminal trespass.
Eide was sentenced to prison time for her third DUI in 2011. She was arrested twice in Omaha this year and has criminal convictions, including drunk driving, graffiti, disturbing the peace, obstruction of justice and shoplifting.
4.) DParker - 11/02/2015
[QUOTE=bluecat;35981][url]http://www.ketv.com/news/woman-sneaks-into-henry-doorly-zoo-is-bitten-by-tiger/36192512[/url]
Police said the woman was intoxicated and went into an unauthorized area around 7:20 a.m. to pet the animal, somehow getting past the fence and security before the zoo had opened.
Jacqueline Eide, 33, is in the hospital Sunday with a severe injury to her left hand.
She was transported to Creighton University Medical Center by a friend. The wounds are so bad that she might lose parts of her fingers.
Eide, according to a release from the Omaha Police Department, was aggressive toward staff and showed signs of intoxication.
She was cited for criminal trespass.
Eide was sentenced to prison time for her third DUI in 2011. She was arrested twice in Omaha this year and has criminal convictions, including drunk driving, graffiti, disturbing the peace, obstruction of justice and shoplifting.[/QUOTE]
LOL! Yeah...I read that one this morning. Kinda' cute, but obviously dumb as a bag of hammers and prone to bad decision-making.
In other words, she sounds like a fun date.
Police said the woman was intoxicated and went into an unauthorized area around 7:20 a.m. to pet the animal, somehow getting past the fence and security before the zoo had opened.
Jacqueline Eide, 33, is in the hospital Sunday with a severe injury to her left hand.
She was transported to Creighton University Medical Center by a friend. The wounds are so bad that she might lose parts of her fingers.
Eide, according to a release from the Omaha Police Department, was aggressive toward staff and showed signs of intoxication.
She was cited for criminal trespass.
Eide was sentenced to prison time for her third DUI in 2011. She was arrested twice in Omaha this year and has criminal convictions, including drunk driving, graffiti, disturbing the peace, obstruction of justice and shoplifting.[/QUOTE]
LOL! Yeah...I read that one this morning. Kinda' cute, but obviously dumb as a bag of hammers and prone to bad decision-making.
In other words, she sounds like a fun date.
5.) DParker - 11/02/2015
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;35979]"[I]Bryant Police said on Sept. 8 they received a call that someone spotted a dead tiger on a service road near the town. The caller said she stopped to take pictures of the animal, but she was too scared to get near it.[/I]"
[url]http://www.wbrz.com/news/dead-tiger-report-leads-to-stuffed-animal/[/url][/QUOTE]
At least that one looks like a tiger, and is about the right size. I might make the same mistake after a few Evil Cream Sodas.
#stuffedanimallivesmatter
[url]http://www.wbrz.com/news/dead-tiger-report-leads-to-stuffed-animal/[/url][/QUOTE]
At least that one looks like a tiger, and is about the right size. I might make the same mistake after a few Evil Cream Sodas.
#stuffedanimallivesmatter
6.) bluecat - 11/02/2015
[QUOTE=DParker;35983]
#stuffedanimallivesmatter[/QUOTE]
:grin:
#stuffedanimallivesmatter[/QUOTE]
:grin:
7.) Swamp Fox - 11/02/2015
Did I ever tell y'all the story about the evening I was told I was bad for the frogs?
8.) DParker - 11/02/2015
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;35986]Did I ever tell y'all the story about the evening I was told I was bad for the frogs?[/QUOTE]
No, but it has freaky hippy chick written all over it.
No, but it has freaky hippy chick written all over it.
9.) Swamp Fox - 11/02/2015
LOL...You're on the right track. :-)
10.) bluecat - 11/02/2015
:pop:
Do tell.
Do tell.
11.) DParker - 11/02/2015
12.) bluecat - 11/02/2015
I'm sure the story will be ribbiting...
13.) Swamp Fox - 11/02/2015
Well, okay...Since you've twisted my arm...
When I was in my late 20's, I moved into town to be closer to the office I was using. Also, I thought it would be better for my social life. LOL. There was a definite divide in my two worlds. The girls were in town, and my hunting and fishing buddies were out where I lived. So obviously I had to ditch my buddies and move to the big city. :tap:
Fortunately, this only lasted a few years before I came to my senses and got the hell out of Dodge to move back out again, but in the meantime, I lived in a townhouse in a neighborhood recently carved out of the woods within walking distance from the place where the War Between The States was effectively ended. [url]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bennett_Place[/url]
My neighbors were what you would expect in an area dominated by three major universities and several minor ones, IBM, lots of tech, pharmaceutical and research companies, and many other things I don't understand and don't really want to. I spent so much time at work and on the road that I didn't know very many of my neighbors, but I got the gist and didn't think I was missing much.
The one saving grace of living in the townhouse was that there was a 1/2 acre pond right outside my back door, and it had some nice bass in it. Naturally, I was the only one who knew this, my neighbors being not exactly the pioneering type. Once I figured out the pond was a honey-hole (discovered by walking Dixie Dawg around the edge two or three times a day) I got in the habit of fishing it for a couple of hours before I went to bed. I like night fishing anyway, but between my long workday and wanting to keep the pond a secret in the first place, I was out there at some pretty odd hours.
Now, before we go much further, the thing you should know is that when it would rain out there, lots of peepers or tree frogs or toads would wind up on the blacktop road that ran in a "U" through the neighborhood from the main road. Lots of them got squished by traffic, which is kind of amazing since there really wasn't a lot of traffic. I'm pretty sure they weren't pond frogs, since I know what a bullfrog looks like and these squished specimens weren't bullfrogs and most weren't any other kind of ribbit frog I'm familiar with. But, I mean, like, who really nos all this stuff anyway? The main thing is that it's undeniable that the blacktop was some kind of irresistible magnet for "frogs" in a rain. You didn't need to put on a frog drive to get them out there, and when it was dry, you'd never see them.
So anyway, late one (dry) summer night I'm out skulking the banks of the pond, throwing a Jitterbug or some such, and I get a weird feeling that I'm being watched, and I turn around and there's someone silhouetted against the street light up on the slope behind me. Even at 10 yards away, I can't make out her face, but evidently she's a Shaolin Master at neighborhood watch with a doctorate in ninja approach. I doubt she was just out for a walk; more likely she spotted me from one of the raised decks on the back of each townhouse, and I'm guessing she came quite a bit out of her way to investigate me.
I said "Hi" when I saw her, and her reply was, "'What are you doing?"
"Fishing," I said, half with a question mark, thinking the only reason to ask such a stupid question was because of the hour (midnight or 1 or thereabouts) and not because she'd never seen a fishing rod before.
"At this hour?" she asked, somewhat accusatorily, as if I were breaking some wildlife law, or a rule of civilization.
Of course, I said, "Sure."
Her reply---and I shit you not---was ""You're scaring the frogs."
The only thing I remember after that is my mouth dropping open and being caught speechless. It even took me a second to make the connection with squished frogs in the road. That must have been her cause of the moment. I don't remember her walking away or the smell of burning leaves, or anything.
Just one of many people on a different frequency from me, I realized later, and another reason I got the hell out of there as soon as I could.
When I was in my late 20's, I moved into town to be closer to the office I was using. Also, I thought it would be better for my social life. LOL. There was a definite divide in my two worlds. The girls were in town, and my hunting and fishing buddies were out where I lived. So obviously I had to ditch my buddies and move to the big city. :tap:
Fortunately, this only lasted a few years before I came to my senses and got the hell out of Dodge to move back out again, but in the meantime, I lived in a townhouse in a neighborhood recently carved out of the woods within walking distance from the place where the War Between The States was effectively ended. [url]https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bennett_Place[/url]
My neighbors were what you would expect in an area dominated by three major universities and several minor ones, IBM, lots of tech, pharmaceutical and research companies, and many other things I don't understand and don't really want to. I spent so much time at work and on the road that I didn't know very many of my neighbors, but I got the gist and didn't think I was missing much.
The one saving grace of living in the townhouse was that there was a 1/2 acre pond right outside my back door, and it had some nice bass in it. Naturally, I was the only one who knew this, my neighbors being not exactly the pioneering type. Once I figured out the pond was a honey-hole (discovered by walking Dixie Dawg around the edge two or three times a day) I got in the habit of fishing it for a couple of hours before I went to bed. I like night fishing anyway, but between my long workday and wanting to keep the pond a secret in the first place, I was out there at some pretty odd hours.
Now, before we go much further, the thing you should know is that when it would rain out there, lots of peepers or tree frogs or toads would wind up on the blacktop road that ran in a "U" through the neighborhood from the main road. Lots of them got squished by traffic, which is kind of amazing since there really wasn't a lot of traffic. I'm pretty sure they weren't pond frogs, since I know what a bullfrog looks like and these squished specimens weren't bullfrogs and most weren't any other kind of ribbit frog I'm familiar with. But, I mean, like, who really nos all this stuff anyway? The main thing is that it's undeniable that the blacktop was some kind of irresistible magnet for "frogs" in a rain. You didn't need to put on a frog drive to get them out there, and when it was dry, you'd never see them.
So anyway, late one (dry) summer night I'm out skulking the banks of the pond, throwing a Jitterbug or some such, and I get a weird feeling that I'm being watched, and I turn around and there's someone silhouetted against the street light up on the slope behind me. Even at 10 yards away, I can't make out her face, but evidently she's a Shaolin Master at neighborhood watch with a doctorate in ninja approach. I doubt she was just out for a walk; more likely she spotted me from one of the raised decks on the back of each townhouse, and I'm guessing she came quite a bit out of her way to investigate me.
I said "Hi" when I saw her, and her reply was, "'What are you doing?"
"Fishing," I said, half with a question mark, thinking the only reason to ask such a stupid question was because of the hour (midnight or 1 or thereabouts) and not because she'd never seen a fishing rod before.
"At this hour?" she asked, somewhat accusatorily, as if I were breaking some wildlife law, or a rule of civilization.
Of course, I said, "Sure."
Her reply---and I shit you not---was ""You're scaring the frogs."
The only thing I remember after that is my mouth dropping open and being caught speechless. It even took me a second to make the connection with squished frogs in the road. That must have been her cause of the moment. I don't remember her walking away or the smell of burning leaves, or anything.
Just one of many people on a different frequency from me, I realized later, and another reason I got the hell out of there as soon as I could.
14.) Swamp Fox - 11/02/2015
[QUOTE=bluecat;35993]I'm sure the story will be ribbiting...[/QUOTE]
:grin:
:clap:
:grin:
:clap:
15.) DParker - 11/02/2015
[QUOTE=bluecat;35993]I'm sure the story will be ribbiting...[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;35996]...I turn around and there's someone silhouetted against the street light behind me. Even at 10 yards away, I can't make out her face...[/QUOTE]
Was the silhouette at least promising?
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;35996]...I turn around and there's someone silhouetted against the street light behind me. Even at 10 yards away, I can't make out her face...[/QUOTE]
Was the silhouette at least promising?
16.) Swamp Fox - 11/03/2015
[QUOTE=DParker;35998]
Was the silhouette at least promising?[/QUOTE]
No, that's the thing...And I got the distinct whiff of PhD candidate in Women's Studies or Comparative Marxism...
Was the silhouette at least promising?[/QUOTE]
No, that's the thing...And I got the distinct whiff of PhD candidate in Women's Studies or Comparative Marxism...
17.) DParker - 11/03/2015
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;36001]No, that's the thing...And I got the distinct whiff of PhD candidate in Women's Studies or Comparative Marxism...[/QUOTE]
In other words....toxic fumes.
You're lucky you escaped with your life.
In other words....toxic fumes.
You're lucky you escaped with your life.
18.) DParker - 11/03/2015
And just because there's nothing else topical to add to this thread, I present proof positive that "Hold my beer and watch this" rednecks are not a phenomenon that is unique to the Western Hemisphere...
I don't know exactly where that is, but those boys certainly do know how to make their own fun.
I don't know exactly where that is, but those boys certainly do know how to make their own fun.
19.) Swamp Fox - 11/03/2015
[QUOTE=DParker;36004]And just because there's nothing else topical to add to this thread...[/QUOTE]
Whoa...Don't bail on me now...I'm just waiting for Youtube to come back up so I can share some Portlandia clips...LOL...
Whoa...Don't bail on me now...I'm just waiting for Youtube to come back up so I can share some Portlandia clips...LOL...
20.) Swamp Fox - 11/03/2015
[QUOTE=DParker;36004]And just because there's nothing else topical to add to this thread, I present proof positive that "Hold my beer and watch this" rednecks are not a phenomenon that is unique to the Western Hemisphere...
I don't know exactly where that is, but those boys certainly do know how to make their own fun.[/QUOTE]
This is why you shouldn't turn up your nose at rice likker, LOL
That's a great video...:grin:
I don't know exactly where that is, but those boys certainly do know how to make their own fun.[/QUOTE]
This is why you shouldn't turn up your nose at rice likker, LOL
That's a great video...:grin:
21.) DParker - 11/03/2015
I mean, how many people can honestly say, "Why, yes...as a matter of fact...I [i]have[/i] been water skiing through a rice paddy towed by galloping Bangladeshi cattle.
That sounds like a pretty good bar pick-up line.
That sounds like a pretty good bar pick-up line.
22.) Swamp Fox - 11/03/2015
LOL....
Back when I was a swinging Rick, one of my best buddies and I used to like to tell tall tales to each other in the clubs and fern bars when we got to certain level of happiness. It may or may not have been at the point when we realized nothing too exciting was going to happen that night, but it was always simply for our own amusement, rather than the equivalent of circling the bar telling girls we were fighter pilots or Texas oilmen.
One of my favorite of these episodes was when Rob and I were huddled at the end of the bar at The Mad Monk, a rock music club in Wilmington, NC. I was way into the story about the time he and I were elephant hunting, and I was ramping it up and "reminded" Rob that he should thank me for saving his life. After all, he would have been trampled if I hadn't--at the last possible moment and cool as a cucumber--shot that elephant dead in the nuts!
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I hear from behind me, "Oh, bullshit!" We looked up and there'd been some girl sitting behind me the whole time, sucking up all the entertainment for free, but she had finally reached her limit, LOL. She grabbed her purse off the bar and walked away like her panties were riding up before we could say anything, and to this day we're convinced she thought we were telling the story for her benefit. :re: Silly rabbit. :-)
Interestingly, The Mad Monk burned down a short time later, making it the second club significant in our careers to go up in blazes. Does anyone remember The Flaming Arrow in Danville, Virginia? LOL...I like to think it's not so much coincidence as it is that we were such hot stuff back in the day. :wink
Back when I was a swinging Rick, one of my best buddies and I used to like to tell tall tales to each other in the clubs and fern bars when we got to certain level of happiness. It may or may not have been at the point when we realized nothing too exciting was going to happen that night, but it was always simply for our own amusement, rather than the equivalent of circling the bar telling girls we were fighter pilots or Texas oilmen.
One of my favorite of these episodes was when Rob and I were huddled at the end of the bar at The Mad Monk, a rock music club in Wilmington, NC. I was way into the story about the time he and I were elephant hunting, and I was ramping it up and "reminded" Rob that he should thank me for saving his life. After all, he would have been trampled if I hadn't--at the last possible moment and cool as a cucumber--shot that elephant dead in the nuts!
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I hear from behind me, "Oh, bullshit!" We looked up and there'd been some girl sitting behind me the whole time, sucking up all the entertainment for free, but she had finally reached her limit, LOL. She grabbed her purse off the bar and walked away like her panties were riding up before we could say anything, and to this day we're convinced she thought we were telling the story for her benefit. :re: Silly rabbit. :-)
Interestingly, The Mad Monk burned down a short time later, making it the second club significant in our careers to go up in blazes. Does anyone remember The Flaming Arrow in Danville, Virginia? LOL...I like to think it's not so much coincidence as it is that we were such hot stuff back in the day. :wink
23.) DParker - 11/03/2015
Good story....but way too much "flaming" in the same breath as "bar".
24.) Swamp Fox - 11/03/2015
LOL...
Well, that leads me to a different story, LOL...about the bar above a microbrewery, interestingly enough...It was accidental, I swear, but I don't think I've been back to that part of town in 25 years, LOL
On the other hand, The Flaming Arrow was a great country music bar, just so we're clear. :wink
BTW, this was on South Park recently. I thought it was good for a thread about emerging suburbia, LOL:
[I]
“Our town has only had a Whole Foods for three weeks and we already have our first gay kids!” [/I]
Well, that leads me to a different story, LOL...about the bar above a microbrewery, interestingly enough...It was accidental, I swear, but I don't think I've been back to that part of town in 25 years, LOL
On the other hand, The Flaming Arrow was a great country music bar, just so we're clear. :wink
BTW, this was on South Park recently. I thought it was good for a thread about emerging suburbia, LOL:
[I]
“Our town has only had a Whole Foods for three weeks and we already have our first gay kids!” [/I]
25.) bluecat - 11/03/2015
[QUOTE=DParker;36004]And just because there's nothing else topical to add to this thread, I present proof positive that "Hold my beer and watch this" rednecks are not a phenomenon that is unique to the Western Hemisphere...
I don't know exactly where that is, but those boys certainly do know how to make their own fun.[/QUOTE]
I want to party with [B]those[/B] cowboys!
I don't know exactly where that is, but those boys certainly do know how to make their own fun.[/QUOTE]
I want to party with [B]those[/B] cowboys!
26.) bluecat - 11/03/2015
Swampy, the frog story was exquisite. It would have even been more exciting if you had caught a few of those frogs and were using them as topwater bait. Then when she said you were scaring the frogs, you could have said, you mean this one, while swinging him around on the end of your line.
I'm giving it 4-squished carcasses.
Think how different your life would have been had you succumbed to the siren song...
You'd be sitting right now in your wool socks and birkenstocks, the smell of patchouli filling the air as you write speaches for the democratic activists condemning all things free and independant. Thank God, you were strong.
I'm giving it 4-squished carcasses.
Think how different your life would have been had you succumbed to the siren song...
You'd be sitting right now in your wool socks and birkenstocks, the smell of patchouli filling the air as you write speaches for the democratic activists condemning all things free and independant. Thank God, you were strong.
27.) bluecat - 11/03/2015
[QUOTE=DParker;35998]
Was the silhouette at least promising?[/QUOTE]
LOL!
Was the silhouette at least promising?[/QUOTE]
LOL!
28.) Swamp Fox - 11/03/2015
[QUOTE=bluecat;36014]I want to party with [B]those[/B] cowboys![/QUOTE]
The guy actually almost got up on plane toward the end...I'm not sure if that or the impressive roostertail is more spectacular.
And I love the guy jumping up and down with his hand in the air, LOL...
The guy actually almost got up on plane toward the end...I'm not sure if that or the impressive roostertail is more spectacular.
And I love the guy jumping up and down with his hand in the air, LOL...
29.) DParker - 11/03/2015
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;36019]And I love the guy jumping up and down with his hand in the air, LOL...[/QUOTE]
I think that's the Romanian judge giving him a 5.0 due to his failure to stick the dismount.
I think that's the Romanian judge giving him a 5.0 due to his failure to stick the dismount.
30.) Wild Bob - 11/03/2015
[QUOTE=Swamp Fox;36019]The guy actually almost got up on plane toward the end...I'm not sure if that or the impressive roostertail is more spectacular.
And I love the guy jumping up and down with his hand in the air, LOL...[/QUOTE]
Yea, what the hell is up with that?? I couldn't figure out if he was having a Tourettes seizure or if may be won some money...either way, his form of personal expression is a bit out there. (Except, I kinda could see Swampy doing that when he finally fills his deer tag...:-) )
And I love the guy jumping up and down with his hand in the air, LOL...[/QUOTE]
Yea, what the hell is up with that?? I couldn't figure out if he was having a Tourettes seizure or if may be won some money...either way, his form of personal expression is a bit out there. (Except, I kinda could see Swampy doing that when he finally fills his deer tag...:-) )